Robert Francis (pen name)

Fifteen Years as a Social Worker: Robert Francis

I experienced a happy, normal childhood, which was the best time of my life. I enjoyed playing sports like basketball and football. My dad coached many of my teams, and my mom attended all of my games to cheer me on. I have one older brother who I enjoy a strong bond with to this day.

I was greeted by schizophrenia at age 22. I had just graduated with my bachelor’s of arts degree from SUNY Geneseo in 1993. Following my graduation, I moved back home with my mother. It was at this time that my behavior began to slowly deteriorate. I thought I had a microchip inserted in my brain by the government and that I was being surveilled. As these delusions worsened and intensified, I became very paranoid.

そのとき、声も聞こえるようになった。それは、まるで空からの叫びのようでした。クリントン大統領が私に語りかけているのが聞こえたのです。さらに、テレビで見た人が、私のことを話している、私がどこに住んでいる、私が誰である、と言っているように思えた。妄想が続くと、政府に監視されている、悪意のある陰謀に利用されている、と思うようになった。

Schizophrenia was never more trying for me than during my first onset of psychosis. Many patients experience anosognosia, which is lack of insight and a common schizophrenia symptom. I also struggled with anosognosia. I knew nothing about schizophrenia and never would have dreamed that a brain disorder was the source of my troubles.

After close to a year of rampant and severe psychosis, I was ultimately brought by my family, via an intervention of sorts, to the hospital. My family would have acted sooner, but they also knew nothing of schizophrenia, even though they did notice my behavior was becoming erratic. It took a while for them to conclude that it was something greater than just quirky or atypical behavior. This was the first of my inpatient admissions.

My first hospital admission was difficult. I was given intramuscular haloperidol, which caused all my muscles to contract (a condition called dystonia). I could not walk and crawled my way down the hallway to find help. The staff gave me Benadryl and the contractions stopped. I was off to a rough start!

After this first admission, I then began outpatient treatment at a community clinic. My psychiatrist started me on olanzapine (Zyprexa). Everyone is different, but for me, Zyprexa was awful. I felt cognitively zoned-out and impoverished, and I was tired all the time. I later came to know the medicinal slang of being “snowed.” And “snowed” I was! Zyprexa induced a lethargy in me, and I felt no motivation other than to watch TV and sleep.

副作用と気分の悪さから、ジプレキサの服用を完全に止めました。そして、薬を全く飲まない生活になりました。それから数カ月後、再び精神病が再発したことに気づいた家族が病院に連れてきてくれました。

Initially during my second hospitalization, I was very confused. I would sit for hours just watching the activity in the hospital milieu without saying a word. I was scared and paranoid. But fortunately, during this second hospitalization, my doctor refused to give up on me and was committed to my recovery. He suggested a medication I had never heard of before, clozapine. I was warned that there were many potential side effects, however, we determined I had to try it.

本剤を服用して3日後、私は再び健康な自分を取り戻したように感じました。周囲の人々は、私が明晰で理性的な能力を取り戻したことに驚いていました。多くの症状も治まりました。家に帰れば、すっかり元気になっていた。本薬は本当に奇跡のようなものだった。

After this second and final hospitalization, I moved on and started attending Continuing Day Treatment (known as CDT). I attended CDT for close to a year (unfortunately, this treatment modality has now been eliminated). CDT gave my day structure and the opportunity to be around others with similar problems. I learned a lot at CDT about the various mental illnesses. It provided me with invaluable psychoeducation.

Finally, after months of stability on clozapine, a social worker at CDT encouraged me to apply to become a peer counselor. She thought I had the capacity to help others.

I eventually became a peer counselor and really enjoyed the job. As a peer counselor, I worked in a hospital providing peer support to patients on the inpatient psychiatric units. I enthusiastically communicated that recovery is possible. I tried to serve as a role model for patients who were struggling.

After six months as a peer counselor, I applied for a full-time job at a group home for people with mental illness and was hired. After one year, I was promoted to assistant manager. Six months later, I was promoted to program manager, and I held this position for three years.

With the desire to further a career in human services, and specifically mental health, I decided to apply for a master’s of social work (MSW) program at a nearby university and was accepted. I attended college full-time for two years and received my MSW in 2006. In 2009, I earned my LCSW (licensed clinical social worker).

I have now been a mental health therapist for close to 15 years. Over the last two years, I have written two books about my life living with schizophrenia, including my most recent bookエッセンシャル・サイゾフレニア・コンパニオン(The Essential Schizophrenia Companion. These books have been cathartic for me. 私の物語を他の人と共有する機会を与えてくれたのです。私は統合失調症の患者さんやその家族、そして患者さんを治療する専門家のために執筆しています。私の努力によって一人でも利益を得る人がいれば、私の目的は達成されたことになります。

I cannot say I do not have ongoing symptoms. I do. But my recovery boils down to this: I have learned to function despite my symptoms. I have capably adapted. It took me a long time to learn to live with schizophrenia, but I have indeed learned, and I continue to refine my coping skills.

とりわけ、私は受け入れることを学びました。私は日々の挑発を受け入れ、不平は言いません。統合失調症がどのような難題を突きつけてきても、私は立派にやり遂げることができると知っています。

統合失調症は、私の知らない私の強さを鍛え上げました。そして、私にとっては、これこそが「回復」なのです。