![](\"https:\/\/curesz.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Matt-Racher.jpg\" "\\"Matt")
<\/span><\/div>Mateus Racher, CRPS<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div> Musician and Peer Specialist: Matthew Racher<\/strong><\/p>\n Tenho boas lembran\u00e7as de inf\u00e2ncia dos meus primeiros anos crescendo em South Miami, Fl\u00f3rida. Nos fins de semana eu brincava com as crian\u00e7as da vizinhan\u00e7a. Um dia, uma linha de \u00e1gua quebrou e inundou as ruas. Meus amigos da vizinhan\u00e7a local e eu constru\u00edmos minibarcos e jangadas para flutuar ao lado dos carros estacionados.<\/p>\n I went to high school down the street at Gulliver, a college preparatory school with excellent faculty and an array of extracurricular activities. I became heavily involved in musical theatre, casting for lead roles in Grease<\/em>, Into the Woods<\/em>, and Once Upon A Mattress<\/em>. After graduation from high school, I went off to college in Cleveland, Ohio, at Case Western Reserve University in fall 2004. I was interested in studying business and connecting with other like-minded students who had an interest in music.<\/p>\n Durante meus estudos de gradua\u00e7\u00e3o, no inverno de 2005, comecei a sentir sentimentos percept\u00edveis de depress\u00e3o e ansiedade. Comecei a dormir durante as aulas e a ficar acordado a noite toda. Eu estava me distanciando socialmente.<\/p>\n I remember in my freshman year I auditioned for an on-campus a cappella<\/em> group as a baritone singer. I was so ecstatic to have been offered a position. But as my depression kicked in, I became less and less interested in singing and all my other musical interests. When my depression started to hit full force, I began to self-medicate with drugs and compulsive gambling. I entered a dark hole: one in which I couldn\u2019t stand to be present in my life. I felt I had to escape by any means possible.<\/p>\n Em 2006 me transferi para a Universidade de Miami, perto da casa dos meus pais, e morava com eles. Quando voltei a morar com eles, levei todas as minhas ferramentas escapistas comigo, incluindo maconha e jogo compulsivo. O v\u00edcio em drogas e o jogo se tornaram meus amigos mais pr\u00f3ximos. Todos os meus sonhos e esperan\u00e7as pareciam ser um lampejo de luz distante e inalcan\u00e7\u00e1vel.<\/p>\n While living with my parents, they noticed I was experiencing a decline in my mental health. I was more isolated than ever, shuttered in with a mind filled with incoherent thoughts. I would sleep all day with the window shades down. I recall a decline in my personal hygiene. My depression had taken over, and I felt as though my life were over, as if I were trapped in an existence that was merely a shell of who I once was.<\/p>\n My parents brought me to see a psychiatrist. I began engaging in psychotherapy two to three times per week. Several medications were prescribed including bupropion, sertraline, and lamotrigine. I started taking the medications, and although they helped for a short while, I would always resort back to old habits and my own ways of escaping reality. I began to mix the marijuana use with the medication and spiraled down even more.<\/p>\n Em 2009, enquanto ainda morava com meus pais e frequentava aulas locais na Universidade de Miami, sofri meu primeiro surto psic\u00f3tico. Lembro-me de sentimentos de intensa paran\u00f3ia que me compeliam a olhar obsessivamente pelas persianas da minha janela. Eu estava convencido de que o entregador da FedEx foi enviado \u00e0 minha casa pelo FBI. Lembro-me de andar de um lado para o outro com pensamentos acelerados consumindo minha mente. Achei que o mundo tinha acabado e a culpa foi minha.<\/p>\n My parents noticed that my behavior was off, and we met again with my psychiatrist. He recognized that I was experiencing psychosis and prescribed aripiprazole (Abilify). On this medication, my symptoms started to slowly abate. A year following my psychotic break, I was able to focus more on school, and I graduated from the University of Miami (UM) in May of 2010 with a BA in psychology and a minor in music business. I was only able to graduate from UM because I was adhering to medication and determined to make it through my undergraduate studies.<\/p>\n Em 2010, sofri uma perda devastadora. Meu amigo mais pr\u00f3ximo do col\u00e9gio morreu por suic\u00eddio. Quando ouvi a not\u00edcia, foi como um terremoto no meu corpo e na minha alma. Nunca me esquecerei de estar sentado em meu quarto completamente abalado com a not\u00edcia dessa perda. Infelizmente, isso me levou a fugir para minhas formas negativas de enfrentamento, em vez de abra\u00e7ar um processo de luto pela perda.<\/p>\n Depois de afundar ainda mais na depress\u00e3o e no uso de maconha, experimentei outro epis\u00f3dio psic\u00f3tico grave em 2011. Lembro-me de acordar e sentir uma poderosa onda de energia rec\u00e9m-encontrada. Liguei para todos os meus contatos e pedi desculpas a eles, deixando-os saber o quanto os amava. Delirante, lembro-me de sentir um forte sentimento de culpa, acreditando que cada membro da fam\u00edlia ou ente querido em minha vida havia sido afetado negativamente por todas as decis\u00f5es que tomei no passado.<\/p>\n Soon after, while acutely psychotic, I ran away down the street, barefoot, as my father chased me. I was taken to the psychiatric hospital in South Miami for nearly three weeks. To this day I still believe that a significant catalyst for my second psychotic break was my avoidance of processing, embracing, and mourning the death of my friend. While in the hospital, I endlessly searched through the dimly lit corridors for my friend who I had lost to suicide.<\/p>\n Hoje sou grato por ter tido seguro e recursos para cobrir uma interna\u00e7\u00e3o hospitalar t\u00e3o extensa.<\/p>\n After this stay in the hospital, I returned home to what was a long road ahead, a road in which my family and support network tried everything possible to reintegrate me back into a level of connection within my community, and I continued taking Abilify. My parents drove me to doctor\u2019s appointments, peer support groups, and local clubhouse events. My father offered me a job in his office so I could develop and build on work-related skills. My mother drove me to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) meetings and became passionate about volunteering with the Miami-Dade affiliate. She and a few other NAMI members helped revitalize and grow the local chapter into the remarkable organization it is today.<\/p>\n At that time, I also made a friend named Carlos who had similar mental health challenges. Carlos and I discovered our shared love of acoustic rock music and eventually formed a band, known as “FogDog.” To this day, we travel to different communities, spreading the message of hope through original music.<\/p>\n Nunca me senti mais grata pela minha recupera\u00e7\u00e3o do que hoje. Sinto um prop\u00f3sito em retribuir a uma comunidade que me permitiu crescer at\u00e9 onde estou agora.<\/p>\n I am currently working as a certified peer specialist and was recently awarded state certification through the Florida Certification Board. I recently graduated with my Master of Social Work degree and look forward to continuing work in the field of mental health and harm reduction counseling. I plan on working toward licensure to support individuals in achieving their mental health and substance abuse recovery goals, especially within the field of early intervention treatment and care for psychosis. I hope to continue my work to improve the reach of sustained community-based mental healthcare.<\/p>\n Eu n\u00e3o estaria hoje em posi\u00e7\u00e3o de ajudar e servir outras pessoas dentro da minha comunidade se n\u00e3o fosse pela medica\u00e7\u00e3o, pelo apoio da minha fam\u00edlia e pela NAMI Miami-Dade.<\/p>\n When I look back on my experiences from the dark depths of isolation and despair to the light of hope, support, and connectedness, I can only hope that others find it within themselves to never give up and to know that they are not alone. Only together can we discover the strength to quiet this voice and instill a sense of belonging and purpose.<\/p>\n I hope others can find the support and resources to pave a path towards their own light, purpose, and path of self-discovery and realize that recovery, in the face of pain and adversity, is, in fact, an actualization of our most unique, courageous, and resilient qualities. If we hold onto this path and never give up, our individual stories will serve to guide others.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>